Loved this piece from Maureen Collins’ book “Straight Talk: conversations at work that get results”

“Many conversations do little more than rehash previous conversations.  The same problems are raised. The same excuses for bad behaviour are offered.  More actions are discussed. Nothing changes! Conversations do little more than lead to more conversations if you accept compliance when you do not have commitment.  When you tell people what you think of their poor behaviour and then tell them how you want them to fix it, you have not involved them in the conversation or in the solution.  You don’t know how they see the problem or if they even think the issue is important. Nor do you know what they think of your proposed solution or whether they are committed to making it work.

You have done   all the thinking, you have come up with all the ideas and if the solution doesn’t work, the fault will obviously be yours too! The other person has the soft option. They didn’t have to think, they can follow your instructions and they can avoid any accountability if the solution -your solution - doesn’t work.

Obtaining commitment from people and holding them to account for their behaviour means that you ask them for their view of the situation and you invite them to share in the intellectual work of finding a solution. Then you share the responsibility for putting the solution in place.  At a later date you follow up together on whether the action that was agreed on has been implemented. This is the only way to create accountability and avoid conversations that go around in circles.  

When you need personal motivation, creativity, customer service, initiative and problem- solving skills from people, you need more than compliance. Gaining commitment means creating conversations in which people feel safe to say what they think and feel, to speak up with information or ideas, and to challenge you. When people are deeply involved in conversations, they will be fully committed to actions.”

So relevant. So true. Internally it is crucial to have conversations as opposed to compliance... as exhausting as it sometimes is to get there. Externally the challenge is always  to engage with our clients as opposed to ticking off the to-do list.